Ever noticed how different children react to different situations or accidents?
In my tutoring company we deal with many children, from all backgrounds. It is very enlightening to watch their reactions to different things that occur while they are here studying.
On a minor note, we offer water to all our students and sometimes the water gets spilled. I watch the faces of the child to see if they are scared by this or worried, or not. Of course this is a very minor problem, BUT some students actually get afraid of what will come next. My response to the student is that it is only water and the paper towels are in the kitchen. No muss, no fuss. I can tell by some of the reactions that at some point in their lives, some things or accidents have been made a BIG DEAL with BIG CONSEQUENCES!
I am a mother of two beautiful daughters, and 3 beautiful granddaughters. I am very proud to say that they are all great people and very confident people. I truly believe that our sweethearts can be nurtured in many ways. By not making a BIG DEAL out of a small thing is one way. Teach them to handle their mess, and maybe to prevent it, but by no means make it important. Your children need to be able to come to you with
ANY PROBLEM and know that you are SAFE to talk to and that you will understand. Of course we all lose our tempers sometimes briefly, but the most confident and amazing students and children that I have seen have been raised with a sense of what is important and if it is important that they can handle it or lean on you if needed for moral support.
Unfortunately, I hear about instances in school where the teacher has knowingly or unknowingly bruised or shattered this confidence in a student. I have an awesome 8th grader who has been told for a few years now that he is a BAD BOY or that he is stupid. This breaks my heart. I get to see the real him when he comes as he is polite, and caring, and takes help very easily. A different picture is happening at school, as he has been branded as a troublemaker or "Not a good student". Respect for an adult is very necessary, but respect for a child is equally necessary.
Love and respect will build the most amazing adults. I work with students all the time who seem to be PROBLEM STUDENTS who in fact just need some help with their studies and their personal self esteem. If you sweetheart is having trouble in school, either talk to them or have them talk to someone who can help them figure out what exactly is going wrong. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing a student, TURN AROUND, so to speak. I have a 7th grader who literally seemed half awake when his mom brought him for a free consultation. I have worked with him for a few times now and remarked to his mom how much happier he is and productive and even spoken to one of his teachers who is very happy with his current progress. It makes me very happy to see him happier!
My friend, many years ago, was visiting us and I was having a conversation with my oldest daughter. I think we had had an argument, and I was apologizing for something I said or did. My friend was very surprised by this. Her mother had been raised in a different way and taught that a parent NEVER apologizes to their child! This was a first for her! For me, it is a common event. Mutual respect! Caring and help breeds more caring and help! We need a lot more of both in this crazy world!
I would love feedback or comments or questions! I can be reached at the email below: