We are all familiar now with this term. We hear stories from our
children, parents tell of these events, and even in the news, we hear
Just today, I had a homeschool student who has been experiencing
this recently and is baffled and confused by his supposed friend acting
this way. The unfortunate result is that his mom has to address this with
the other boy's mom, and basically end the friendship. So unfortunate
This boy is extremely sensitive when it comes to this sort of thing, so it
impacts him in a huge way! He no longer feels safe to play with this child
or even be at the same events.
In answer to this problem, many different strategies are used. I think
some ignore it, hoping it will go away, and others attempt to handle it,
trying to make everyone happy. Sometimes a bit more than that is
Unfortunately I have also seen some of this in my tutoring. The
behavior shows up in subtle ways. Of course the cause can come from
different factors, but we must protect all our children from this kind of
behavior. It is very damaging to all parties. In my tutoring, I see an
attitude of attempting to lessen or poke fun at another student for some
reason. Comments or questions like, "What grade are you in?" with
a tone that says, "You are dumb". Another one is "Wow, you read really
slow!" Again with a tone saying, "You are dumb".
In my tutoring, these kind of things are NOT ALLOWED! My belief
is that this type of behavior escalates if things such as these go un-
handled. We all know a child or two that does this on and off and it
always has a negative effect. As a heads up, if you are working with
your child and he or she starts getting angry or belittling or sarcastic,
most probably if you look into the situation, there is something in his
studies at that moment that he is having trouble with and he diverts
his anger to another child or to a family member. I watch for this in my
I am happy to say that most all of my students are sweet, smart,
kind children. There are time when I feel it is necessary to educate
these few children on the bad effects created by their remarks or
or "I'm just kidding". Educate them first, then if necessary, take another
If all else fails, and nothing is working, yes, for the sake of your child or
another you love, do remove yourself from that other student or person.
We learn from what we hear and see and how we are treated. Kindness
is contagious. Feel free to spread it around!!!!
PS. Please feel free to comment or ask me questions. I am happy to help
if I can.